Thomas Jefferson's House

Hi all,

What a wonderfully intellectually stimulating day I had today!

Firstly, I woke up around 9.00am, had brekky, got my coffee and headed off down the road towards Charlottesville to visit the home of Thomas Jefferson, Monticello (pronounced Monty-Chello - which means Little Mountain in Italian).  It is about 90 minutes drive away.

On arrival there were far less people there than the last time I visited.  On arrival, you buy a ticket for the tour and then head over to wait for a bus to take you to the top of the mountain and the house.  Once at the top, you wait in line for your designated tour (mine was 12.10pm) and then get lead through the house, but only the 1st floor.  You are warned straight up however that no photos are allowed to be taken inside the house...boooooo!  Below are photographs from outside the house as well as around the grounds and of the tunnel leading under the house.

Jefferson was an amazing architect and designer and did both in building this house, tearing it down and rebuilding it again over 40 years!  Many of the ideas stemmed from his time in France as Secretary of State.  He had quite the interest in octagons and several rooms are designed as octagons as he felt they were the best way to fit furniture into a room.

He also designed part of the US Capitol building and the main buildings at the University of Virginia, which is in Charlottesville.  Oh and he was also the drafter of the Declaration of Independence, Vice President to the Second US President John Adams, Secretary of State and the 3rd President of the United States!  But his main interests were agriculture and achitecture!

He was also an amazingly complex man with many contradictions and apparent hypocrisy! For example, he publicly wrote that slavery was an abomination, a crime against those enslaved.  However, during his life he inherited, owned, bought and sold over 600 slaves!  It is also said he had several children to one slave Sally Hemings.

They are beginning to say that Thomas Jefferson may have been the most important man in US history, and it is not hard to see why.  I bought my second book on him today and have throughly enjoyed reading the first chapter.  The first book I was recommended was more about him and his house and I am so glad I read 120 pages of it before going back, but it is not telling me what I want to know about this man.  What were his accomplishments? Where did he comes from? Why did he do the things he did?  What was his mindset?  His motivations?

I think it is completely relevant and important to go back and read about if not learn from, those that have come before us.  I guarantee you they worried about the same things we did and faced many of the same difficulties that we do now, minus some of the technological improvements we experience.  As human beings they certainly faced similar existential issues as we face today and we can learn from those who have come before us.  It is also important due tot he fact that our societies as we know them today are a general reflection of what has come before.  Most of the time we are the better for our ancestors influence, but there is so much that seems to be forgotten and so much we somehow refuse to learn!  Seemingly going through the same problems they had in the past.  One thing I can think of are economic cycles!  We have seen rises and falls in financial fortunes over many centuries, yet we seem to fail to see the next massive drop in the economy coming.

And if you consider someone like Thomas Jefferson, we are looking at someone who continues to have a massive influence not only on the United States but also on the rest of the world.  This is the man who wrote the Declaration of Independence and in doing so, outlined the American psyche for time immemorial.  It is difficult to argue that the American psyche, more than any other country, influences the way the world currently operates, whether it is agreement or in opposition to it.  Therefore why would we not want to learn more about this man, how he thought and why he wrote the things he did?  Why is it also the case that more than 200 years later, the US and many of the rest of us, continue to live by those ideals?  Is it possible that in studying such a man, we may learn much more than his legacy?

Jefferson is not the only one however.  There are many many other men and women from history who appear larger than life and who have had an enormous influence on who we are.  Jefferson himself was influenced by some great men including Sir Walter Raleigh and Sir Issac Newton.  Jefferson put Sir Issac Newton among the 3 greatest men to have ever lived!  For me, I put Australia's greatest Prime Minister John Curtin at the top of my list.  Others I have a fond interest in are people such as Ben Chifley, Robert McNamarra, Queen Elizabeth I, Rollo May, Irvin Yalom, Sigmund Freud, Nietzche and Carl Rogers.  Anyway, enough of my pontificating.

Walking through a place of such historical significance quickly reminded me of my utter dismay and awe at being at the Tower of London some years ago.  My absolute favourite part Monticello being Jefferson's 3 private rooms.  His Library, office and bedroom.  I stood in his library with some of his old books and looked at the desk at which he wrote and immediately felt smarter for the experience.  I wanted to sit at his desk and ponder and write down my ideas on life.  I felt sitting there I could be even more inspired than every day life usually inspires me and come up with some solution to a long term problem.  Oh why do these tours have to be so rushed.  I also stood in his bedroom, the very room in which he died at 1.00pm on 4 July 1826, 50 years to the day since the Declaration of Independence and four hours before the death of that other much loved founding father John Adams who died at 5.00pm on the same day.  You don't need to make up fiction when reality is this scrumptious!  I wanted to live in that house.  In those rooms.

Once the house tour was over, I did a 45 minute tour of Mulberry Row where the slaves lived and tended to the daily chores.  On Mulberry Row, Jefferson had a vegetable garden where he not only gained sustenance but also experimented with his agricultural ideas.  There was also a blacksmith that not only made the normal fare, but also did all the metal work for the house and included a nail factory that he used for building the house but also to sell for profit to neighbours.  There was also a joinery shop for preparing the wood for the house and for making furniture.

After this I went down to the family cemetery and saw Jefferson's grave and then returned to the house to go through the tunnel under the house before returning to the visitor center.  I then had lunch and headed back to Farmville.

Such a great experience.

Now as if that was not enough, I headed to the bookstore to have a coffee and read my new book.  As I sat I couldn't help but pick up on a conversation going on next to me between two Longwood Student-athletes.  They were from different sports and different sexes.  Mostly they were lamenting some issues they were having within their teams.  I couldn't help myself but say hi and enter the conversation.  I explained who I was, why I was at Longwood and my interest in sports psychology.  I was recognised not by face but for the fact that I was meant to give my talk on Tuesday, two and two were put together quickly.  One of them said they had every intention of going but couldn't make it due to a test at the same time.  They also couldn't believe nobody went.  Perhaps their could have been an audience if the talk was at another time.

So we got into a deep and lengthy conversation about some on-field issues and frustrations.  In the end we were able to work through some ideas which I am sure could be helpful and both expressed great interest and gratitude.  We hope to get together again before I leave and perhaps stay in touch in the future to continue to work.

From a personal point of view, this is why I want to be a sports psychologist.  These experiences.  To see an athlete get the ideas you are discussing and be able to see how those ideas could help them in their own game is tremendously rewarding.  I walked away from the conversation simply buzzing and highly stimulated.  Throw away your drugs, get a passion or finding a meaning to your life.  Then spend some time every day working on it, believe me, that hole you are trying to fill inside yourself will soon be filled to over flowing!!!!

Tonight I saw a new movie called Water for Elephants.  Great movie, I highly recommend you see it when it comes to a theater near you :-)  While on the movie topic, there is a very topical golf/ sport psychology type movie coming out soon called Seven Days in Utopia. Can't wait.

Please enjoy the pictures.

D

This is the front of the house as you walk up to it.  It looks a bit messy to the left there as two massive trees were blown over the night before int he massive storms we had. Everyone is happy they decided to fall away from the house!!!!

This is the back of the house. I want to mention the main window you can see to the left of the left hand column.  That was the dining room if I remember correctly and contained what may be the first 'Cone of Silence' centuries before Maxwell Smart made the concept famous.  He created a double door system to this room where he could have private meetings and sound could not be heard outside of the room.  Think conversations with people such as John Adams, James Monroe and James Madison among others!!!!!  I'd like you to take notice of the terraces leading to the left and right of the house.

This is view of the various vegetables grown along Mulberry Row.  This is only a small portion as the vegetable garden was about 1000 feet in length.  The little building is a place where Jefferson loved to go and ponder or read.  You can see the view he had in the background.

Mulberry Row.  Slaves quarters and various shops and the vegetable garden are tot he left.  There are full time archeologists working at Monticello. 

This wing comes off of the right hand terrace you saw above.  The terrace comes away from the house and then makes a right hand turn for this structure.  This structure contained toilets , slave quarters for slaves that worked within the house and the kitchen.  The kitchen was not built inside the houses in these days due to the fear of fire!  A fire had to be stoked 365 days of the year and as many houses had a lot of wood in them, people could not risk fire breaking out in their kitchen and spreading to the rest of the house.  So kitchens were built outside of the main house, but, not so far that food would get cold on its way from the kitchen to the dining table!

The gate leading into the Jefferson cemetery.

The inscription on Jefferson's head stone, which is actually an oblisk.

A not so typical slave quarters.  This quarters is quite up market.

One of the tunnels underneath the terraces and leading right under the house.  These tunnels also housed the wine and beer cellar as well as food storage facilities.  It is also where the slaves roamed as they were not allowed in the house except for the most trusted, including the butler.

The two trees blown over by the storm.

Behind the middle column you can see a clock installed by Jefferson.  The clock inside the house is far more spectacular which includes a device to show which day of the week it was!  The small black spec to the left of the middle column is a wind direction device that still works.  The clock and day indicator also still work.  However the joke between the tour guides is that the indicator for Saturday could fit on the inside wall so it is down in the cellar :-)

As the name suggests.

"These truths we hold self evident..."

The Jefferson dunny!

Me and TJ.  He was 6'2 and quite thin by all accounts...as am I obviously!

Crazy Weather in Farmville!

Hi all,

Not too much to report since the weekends games up in Penn State.  However since then I have done some calculations.  Between 8pm Saturday night and 4.00am Monday morning, we traveled for 18 hours, slept for 5 hours, played for 7.5 hours and ate for 1.5 hours!!!!  How's that?

We had Monday off and as we were to play today, coach decided we must practice Tuesday night.  Separately, I was asked by the faculty of International Services to complete a talk on my experience of sport in Australia and the USA which included my observations on the differences in sporting culture as well as the types of sports that are popular in Australia that are not played here.  I spent quite a bit of time completing the talk which was done in the form of a PowerPoint.  The presentation also included some of my sporting background as well as how I ended up in the United States and at Longwood.  I turned up for my talk at the prescribed time of 3.30pm and not one person attended!!!  The two people from International Services attended but nobody else.  Not even anybody from the Athletics Department.  It has been suggested that it was not advertised well however I know it was.  None of the softball team attended as coach decided they must practice from 3.00pm until 5.00pm as the girls had to attend a seminar at the unusual time of 5.30 to remind them of the rules as they pertain to athletes over the summer break.

I was actually a bit disappointed, not from an ego point of view, but from the fact that not one person from the athletic department could spend an hour to support someone they decided to bring all the way from Australia, in an endevour directly related to them.  My International Studies friends were highly embarrassed.  However they did enjoy the presentation and felt those who did not attend truly missed out!  Especially on the vegemite I bought with me from home :-)

This has been an interesting experience in this regard.  I am not a qualified Sports Psychologist, however I do possess some knowledge and experience with Sports Psychology.  Even if I am not qualified to call myself and practice as a psychologist, there is no doubt I could at least bring some knowledge to the department that would assist them with their athletes.  Even my work on my thesis last year would be applicable as it looked at assisting athletes to stay out of trouble off of the field, which included assisting them with coping and well-being, not only on the field but off of it also.  In fact it was Nesti (2006) who suggested that many coaches and high performance managers (i.e., non-sport psychologists) are learning how to effectively implement Mind Skills Training (such as routines, goals, motivation etc) within normal coaching techniques and therefore MST is no longer the exclusive domain of sports psychologists. With this in mind I have no doubt that whilst I have been here, I could have been of assistance to coaches and athletes, especially those with limited knowledge of the benefits of mind skills in relation to sport.  However not one person has approached me for any conversation in relation to these strategies.  I do not boast any expertise in this knowledge, only that I have it and know how effective it can be to an athlete.

But this is also a lesson to be learned.  Sports psychology, like other forms of helping psychology, can not be forced on people and in that way it is just like clinical psychology.  That is, a client, whomever that client may be (i.e., coach or athlete) must seek out assistance before it can be effective.  Just like clinical psychology, it is only the client who by seeking assistance, expresses an openness to change or growth.  These are the clients who are saying, I am open to your assistance, please work with me.  This is partly the reason for the fact psychologists do not for the most part conduct home visits.  In making the choice to attend a psychologists office, that person is saying, I am making my own choice to be here and begin the process of growth or change.  In this way, sports psychology is no different.  The athlete or coach has got to want the assistance, it cannot be simply forced upon them, nor can you expect that such a useful tool will be highly desired.  The reasons for this are speculative and perhaps for another time.

Moving on, we were supposed to play against Campbell today in their house, down there in North Carolina.  However just before we left, with the bus standing there ready for us to board, we got a call stating they had not covered their field which was therefore not ready (due to weather) and there was also a high percentage chance for bad weather again today.  So the games were postponed, possibly until the 9th of May!  The weather looked like it could get bad in Farmville, however we decided to practice at 5.00pm for 90mins.

Well we got to practice, warmed up and then the weather came, which included a thunderstorm, lightening, rain, hail and a tornado!!!!!  Yes a tornado!  I have included many pictures below.  It was an amazingly surreal experience watching it form, touch down and continue to form and reform.  Not something that happens in Australia, that is for sure.

I hope you enjoy the pictures.

D 

These first photos are of the tornado forming and touching down.  You could actually see the clouds begin to form and swirl and be sucked up into the cone.  Amazing.  I tried to get as much of it all into the photo's as I could but the clouds forming in  the sky in front of me were so huge, i got in as much as possible.  Straight after it move away, sirens could be heard from every direction as Fire and Rescue headed out to help where needed.

These photos are of the rain and the hail on the field.  In some of the pics, you can see the hail falling in mid air.

 

Happy ANZAC Day

Hi All,

Yes it is also Easter so happy Easter to all.

For anybody reading this from another land outside of Australia or New Zealand, ANZAC stands for Australia and New Zealand Army Corps after the Australian and New Zealand forces who were sent to Turkey in WWI in an attempt to take that country as an entry into Europe for Allied troops.  This was ultimately a failed campaign which lead to the deaths of many Australian and New Zealand forces but it was the first war Australia had entered as a new nation who became federated on 1 January 1901.  This campaign came to form a very large basis for who we are as a nation.  ANZAC Day came to be as it was 25 April 1915 that Australians landed at ANZAC Cove in Gallipoli.  ANZAC Day is now always celebrated on 25 April and is not only to be celebrated as a remembrance Day for troops of that campaign but also to remember Australian's who fought for our country in any war.  It is a particularly proud day for me.  Not only does it tug at my patriotic heart strings but I also had a grand father who was incredibly dear to me who fought in the 2/28th Battalion for Australia during the second world war against the Japanese in New Britain.

Grandad, you are remembered fondly, every day.

Later on today, there will be the traditional ANZAC Day game of Australian rules football between Essendon and Collingwood at the MCG in Melbourne.  There will be about 100,000 people at the game not only due to their love of the game and either team, but also as a tribute to ANZAC Day its self.  I am going to miss it, but oh boy do I wish I was at least watching it on TV somewhere.

But instead I am on a bus on the way home from State College, Pennsylvania where we today beat Penn State in both games of a double header!  However let me retrace my steps a bit...

Yesterday was seniors day at Longwood Softball Stadium.  Our under classmen did a great job making it a wonderful celebration for our 6 seniors, with balloons, signs and other tributes.  All of the girls parents, friends and family came from far and wide to see their girls play, as well as many of the parents and friends of the under classmen also.  Before the game began, there was an introduction ceremony and presentation of gifts to the 6 seniors.  Each of them walked out onto the field with their parents, to a statement about them as a person and as a player over the loudspeaker, where they were greeted by coach and the Athletic director and presented with a couple of gifts.  Those gifts included a framed picture memorial and lovely ring.  The rings were very feminine and not like the big bulky things you normally see.  I really thought they were beautiful.

Once the ceremony was over, each of the 6 mothers of the girls threw out the ceremonial first pitch to their respective daughters.  It was a really nice ceremony.  But then it was time for the real business.

We were playing Liberty College which is a Christian school from the next town over and quite the rival.  I was impressed with the ceremonies, but worried that they may create a difficult emotional situation.  But the fact is it truly inspired our girls to go crazy.  We won the first game 6-0 and then the second 2-1.  I was incredibly pleased with their efforts and praised them for keeping their emotions in check and having such a great day to commemorate the seniors.  I also praised our pitcher Bri for throwing two complete games and only giving up one run.  I also pointed to our centrefielder Kammy who got on base every at bat for the day.  She had been in a major slump for weeks, but over the last two weeks had worked so hard on her own to get her groove back.  I pointed to her as an example to the underclassmen of how hard work really shows through on the field.  Everyone was pretty chuffed with that.

It was after the game I found, well, interesting.  As Liberty is a Christian school, I was surprised still to find both teams gathering in the middle of the field. Curious I joined hands with two Liberty people, coach and player.  The head coach then began a prayer session!!!!  Now I appreciate the prayers for mine and my teams safety as we traveled to Penn State, however please don't force your beliefs on me.  Just because you have a divine faith in something, that does not mean that I do and should not have that forced upon me.  I certainly did not force my beliefs on them.  It is also said that their coach ran around after last year telling anyone who would listen that we were a dirty team.  Now he wants to pray for us.  Spreading rumours to other team does not appear very Christian to me.  But I did respect their beliefs, so please in future, think about mine.

After the game we had a picnic.  On seniors day it is traditional that the mothers of the seniors provide a picnic for the team and spectators.  The tucker was amazing.  I ate like a pig and then felt yuck for it ha ha.  Then it was home for a shower and then back to the field for 8pm where we jumped on a bus for the ride up to State College.  Before leaving I asked the bus driver how long the ride would be.  He said 5 hours. One, two, three, four, fives hours, O.K we'd get into our hotel at 1am.

It was about 1am that we hit a detour sign saying the bridge was out up ahead.  Pretty soon we were driving down roads that I am sure did not have big coach type buses in mind when they were built.  Think American Warewolf in London, merky and misty narrow roads, trees on both sides of the road and the proverbial bridge out horror film scenario.  I was honestly waiting for vampires and warewolves to come running out onto the road!  I closed my eyes and hoped for sleep.  At 0430hrs, we pulled into our hotel!!!  Opps sorry, nope not our hotel, our hotel is across the road!  So the whole team were back on the bus again.  Coach quite rightly told the team to get their sleep in, get up at 1030, leave the hotel at 1100hrs.

I may have got to sleep by 0530 and got some sleep.  When I woke up I did wonder how the girls would go today if they felt anything like I did!  But I have to tell you, they were awesome!  There have been some proud moments since I have been here, however after that first game I was the most proud of them I have been.  After everything, including making sandwiches on the bus on the way to the field as breakfast, we beat Penn State 5-3 in 8 innings.  Our home run hitting machine Brooke Short hitting her 16th home run in extra innings. This girl could play for any team on the planet, she is that good.

I was a little worried for the second game as they had begun to get hold of Bri a little in the first game, but she just powered on in the second game and we won again 3-0.  I told them after the game about my pride as well as the fact that after weeks of talking to them about the mental side of the game, today they did not wait for someone else to take the reins, each of them took responsibility when it was their turn and did what was needed. Brilliant!

I have also provide pictures below of Penn States new $10.4M field, which just opened for this year.  Just gorgeous and probably the best i have seen.

So after two great days of softball, we are now back on the road and heading home.  So far so good except for the poor deer we hit a while ago.  Lets hope for getting in at a more reasonable hour!

D

By the way, you can double click on the photos to make them bigger.

6 posters prepared by the underclassmen to commemorate the 6 seniors

The team awaiting the entry of the 6 seniors.  Seniors and parents in the dugout.

Our 6 seniors with their parents posing in the middle of the diamond.  By the way please do not underestimate the primping that goes on for these games.  Make-up and hair preparation very important.

Our 6 seniors

The team waiting for the National anthem.

The 6 mums throwing out the first pitch.

A view of Penn States field looking out to the basketball stadium on the right and the 80,000 seat football stadium on the left.  Our team int he outfield.

The field looking from the outfield in.

The building above the dugout contains, change rooms, personal shower rooms and coaches offices.  The cream building to the left is an indoor hitting facility.  The NE of the USA is very cold during winter as well in March and April for the beginning of the season, so NE teams need good indoor facilities. 

Our door training facility with coach and Kayla throwing batting practice.

The Penn State 250,000 electronic scoreboard.

Four more games

Hi All,

Since I last wrote, we have played four more games.

On Tuesday we headed up to Virginia Tech University.  Some of you may remember the massacre 4 years ago there where several students were shot by another student.  VT is also a big and popular college in Virginia with a huge football program (as you will see from the photos below).  It is a big rival of Longwood and a pretty successful program.

It is about a 3 hour ride up there and we took a big luxury bus that had WiFi and DVD facilities.  Awesome and comfy.

Before the game, I was honoured to meet Dr Gary Bennett who is the Sports Psychologist for VT.  I had made contact with him whilst research coaching opportunities over here and he maintained contact with me.  I was humbled that he took 10mins out of his day to come and meet me as he was in between appointments.  I am hoping his acquaintance will last several years.

Anyway onto the games.  We split the games with VT 1 win a piece.  First game we won 4-2 and the second game we lost 7-6 on a walk off hit in the 7th inning.  The second game was a bit strange with us getting 4 runs in the first inning and them getting 5!!!!  All of us coaches had a bit of second guess of ourselves after the game as when it was tied 6-6 in the 7th, we felt it might be a good idea to walk their hitter with a runner on 2nd and 1st base open, but on a 1-0 count we decided not to walk her and of course she hit int he winning run!!!!  That is how you learn the game, make a mistake and learn from it.

We had the day off yesterday and as I have finished all my shopping and am now trying to take in as much history as I can, I headed over to Charlottesville, VA.  Charlottesville is the home of the University of Virginia which was founded by none other than Thomas Jefferson in his retirement years.  What I was really there for was to see his home Monticello, which is an architectural masterpiece.  But when I got there I was informed that I'd probably decided to visit during the  busiest week of the year, the week before Easter.  So all the tours were sold out.  But I took in the free 20min introductory movie about the man and the place and wondered through the gift shop.  I bought a renouned biography and will try to read as much as I can before I return there next week perhaps.  I also bought a t-shirt depicting one of Jefferson's well known quotes "I cannot live without books", 1815.  But I did spend a lovely hour or two in the main street mall and have added a photo below.

Today we played another double header against Binghamton University at our house.  We won the first game easy 8-0 in 5 innings and then lost a tough one, 9-11 in 8 innings in the second.  There wasn't much to learn from the second game except to say that sometimes you just have to tip your cap to the opposition and say they played a good game.  We did have some opportunities in the last inning to perhaps come back and either tie or win the game however we made a couple of mistakes and never made up the entire 4 run deficit we began the inning with.

So tomorrow is Good Friday but softball doesn't stop.  We have practice at 2.30 tomorrow and then it is Seniors Day on Saturday.  Seniors Day, from what I can make out, is to celebrate those who are in their last year of college, Seniors being 4th year students.  We have a double header against another big rival in Liberty University who are only 46 miles away in Lynchburg.  After the games, we have a BBQ for the Seniors and then we get on a bus and travel the 5 or 6 hours up to Penn State University.  We stay in a hotel and then play a double header against Penn State on Sunday.  We then get on the bus and head back to Farmville.  Monday we will have off but we do have the athletic banquet Monday night.  The banquet is to celebrate the achieves throughout the year of athletes from all the sports at the university.  That means after the long ride Sunday night, I'll get up Monday morning and drive up to Short Pump to pick up my suits so I can look spiffy for the banquet!  Then we practice Tuesday and then a double header on Wednesday.  We are then off softball for 10 days as it is final exam week.

So thats it for another few games as well as a summary for the next 6 days.

Lets hope those mighty Dockers knock of the Bulldogs on Monday.

Happy Easter to all and I hope you all spend some time remembering the Diggers on ANZAC Day.

D

This is Virgina Tech's football stadium from a distance

A bit more of a close up pic of the stadium to give you an idea of the number of seats.  They say about 80,000!!!  Remember, college sports!!!!

Virginia Tech Hokies Softball Stadium from Centre Field

VT's Scoreboard

Softball diamond with football stadium in background

Our starters with the Hokies and their awful coloured uniform for the national anthem

A picture of the downtown mall in Charlottesville.  Very quaint.

Why Room 23?

Hi all,

A question I am sometimes asked is why Room 23 as a name for my blog.  Room 23 is the name I want to call my business when I become a private practice psychologist.  Therefore as I will most likely have a website, I wanted to begin my blog with that name which I will transfer over to that website.

So where does the name Room 23 come from?

When I was in High School, I had a friend by the name of Patrick Bumback.  We were both avid sports fans and played a lot of basketball together.  We would end up at either his place or my place playing endless hours of basketball as well as playing on school teams together.  He was certainly a decent basketball player.  At his place he had a full size goal whilst at my place I had more like an 8 foot goal.  At my place we would use a smaller ball where we could palm it and do spectacular jams over each other.  So much plain and innocent fun.

One day I went to Patricks place and on top of his ghetto blaster he had a strip sign that had ‘Room 23’ printed on it.  Evidently Patrick had stolen it from school, from the classroom labelled Room 23.  Patrick had taken a liking to this sign as it was the hay day of probably the greatest athlete to have walked the Earth, Michael Jordan.  For anyone who has been living on another planet for the past 20 years, Michael Jordan wore uniform 23.  He was the guy every basketballer wanted to be like.  For me it was significant for that reason, as well as the fact that the number 23 is my favourite number due to my birth date. 

One day I said to Patrick that I wished I had something like that for my bedroom door, secretly knowing full well that even if I had thought of it, there is no way in this life time or next that I would simply steal something.  Unexpectedly, Patrick told me I could have it.  I did my usual thing of not wanting to be a burden on anyone or have anyone feel they owed me anything so I tried to say no, but Patrick insisted. I was also concerned about having the stolen property in my parent’s house in my possession.  However I graciously accepted it.  I took it home and blue tacked it to my bedroom door where it stayed for at least 15 years.

After high school Patrick and I went our separate ways and I never really heard much about him.  Patrick was a pretty smart guy although he would not want you to know that.  I believe he ended up completing an engineering degree and going into work in that field.

Patrick and I had a mutual friend by the name of Mason with whom I am still very good friends.  A couple of years ago I heard from Mason that Patrick had died.  Mason informed me that Patrick had taken his own life due to the break up of a relationship with a woman he had been with for some time.  I simply couldn’t believe it.  I had always known Patrick as a fun loving happy soul.  Years later I understand that this can mean very little as the private and public lives of people can exist in polarity. 

Mason then informed me that one of the things we did not know about Patrick was that he had lived for many years with a heroin addiction.  Many people think of heroin addiction as something similar to what we see in the movies with people living in squaller and the like, however this may be the case for many people but not for everyone.  Like many drug addictions, heroin addicts can hold down normalish lifestyles, but there probably won’t be much money left over for anything else.

So in memory of Patrick, his devastating story and our friendship, I want to call my business Room 23.  I felt there was great symmetry between many parts of this story.  Twenty Three being my favourite number, Patrick having stolen the sign and then given it to me, my interest in psychology and Patricks unfortunate decision to take his own life.  Therefore Room 23 will represent a safe place of healing for people with issues they would like to work through.  It will be a sanctuary for people to come to and for that hour, or however long they are in that room, they will know they can work on healing the pain, anxiety, grief, guilt, trauma and other issues in their lives.  People will enter the environment of Room 23.

Patricks story is the original inspiration for Room 23 however there are other mates whose lives have tragically come to an end far earlier than they should have and dare I say meaninglessly.

Another guy who went to school with Patrick, Mason and I was Jason Clark.  It was with similar pain to hearing of the death of Patrick, that my mother advised me of the death of Jason.  It was Mason who informed me that Jason had also taken his own life and had been depressed for a very long time.  Unfortunately this time, Jason left behind a wife and children.  I could not attend his funeral but did write a letter to his parents.  They sent me a lovely reply.

Another high school friend was Gavin Capes.  Gavin and I were the closest of mates in high school.  Once again playing an incredible amount of basketball together.  We had a falling out over something pathetic towards the end of school, but did strike up conversations again over the years as he informed me that he was joining the W.A Police Force.  Interestingly Gavin was not accepted on his original applications to join the W.A.P.S apparently due to his psychological testing.  Some years later, when the government promised so many police officers to the community but did not have enough applicants to join the ‘job’, they went back over old applicants and decided to change the rules somewhat to allow some previously unsuitable applicants to now be suitable! Gavin was one of those people.  After a short career, Gavin was transferred to the mining town of Newman in the North of W.A.  On a fairly routine trip out to a remote community to sort out some domestic issue, the plane in which Gavin was flying with 3 other police officers crashed on landing, killing everyone on board.  At the time I held the police force totally responsible because if he was not allowed into the force in the first place, he may still be with us today.  I went to his funeral not in police attire, but in civilian attire to remember Gavin as a good mate, not as a police officer.  Gavin also left behind 2 ex wives, a fiancé and children.

On the day I was contacted in 1993 to inform me I had been accepted into the W.A Police Force, another tragedy prevailed.  A man who I had never met, Senior Constable Steven Knight, was working traffic duty in a suburb of Perth.  He was conducting static radar duty where a police officer will stand on the side of the road and check the speed of passing drivers with a hand held radar.  On this day a crazed driver who was close to losing his licence again, veered off the road in a deliberate attempt to hit Steven with his car.  He succeeded in his endeavour and killed Steven there on the side of the road.  Once again, Steven left behind a wife and children.

I am glad to say that both Gavin and Steven’s names appear of the National Police Memorial in Canberra and I have seen and touched their names there.

The final person I wanted to mention was my friend and accountant Julian Kovacs.  I met Julian at least 10 to 15 years ago, when a financial planner I had met sent me to him for tax purposes.  We became friends quickly, rarely discussing financial matters but discussing cars, football and the like.  Julian was really interested in my policing career and was a qualified forensic accountant for the W.A Police.  Our best day together was when he asked me to sit in his companies box to watch Fremantle flog Richmond by 73 points on day when Trent Croad first came to the team and kicked 4 goals.  After the game it was back to Julian’s place for more burbon and movies on his big screen.  I had only spoken to Julian in December where had told me a strange story about being charged for drink driving and was seeking advice. Shortly after I received an email from his company informing his clients that Julian was sick and that the family asked for privacy while he fought this illness.  In early January I received another email stating that Julian had died.  To this day although attempting to seek information as to what happened to him, I am none the wiser.  I know Julian had had issues with stomach cancer previously but it was my understanding he had beaten it.  All I have is suspicions as to what happened to him and I can’t help wondering if there was something I could have done more during that conversation about his drink driving issue.  And again, Julian left behind a wife and young daughter.

Although none of these men inspired me to become a psychologist, I will take my friendships with Patrick and Jason as inspiration for the work that I do with people who seek my assistance with issues they are struggling with.  I will also take the families left behind by all of these men as inspiration in assisting those who face the trauma and pain we feel when tragedy strikes.

However it is the case that all of these examples of tragedy must be a constant reminder to make the most of this one life.  Once it is over it is over and I will face the oblivion of eternal darkness of which I will not be conscious, so why not make the most of it whilst here.  Irvin Yalom states that humans have such difficulty imagining this oblivion as we have no idea what it is like to have no consciousness.  Not even sleep can be compared as we still dream.  Humans have such anxiety over death as we have a very hard time accepting that once we die, that is it.  Yalom states that when we die, we return to the same state in which we were before conception, nothingness.  However if we can accept this fate and become comfortable with the idea that once we die, there is nothing, we can become more relaxed about living instead of searching for a way to avoid our ultimate demise.  Also, if we can come to terms with the fact that the worst thing that will happen to us is dying, then we can walk through life with an attitude of “well what’s the worst thing that could happen?”  Certainly nothing worse than death!

Knowing that death is ultimately around the corner, we can use it as a powerful motivation for our lives.  We all have hopes and dreams for ourselves and those around us.  So while we are here, why not achieve those dreams?  A very powerful motivating action is to face a choice and think of it in terms of “If I were lying on my death bed and looking back at this moment, would I regret (doing it or not doing it, which ever the case may be) it?”  This can be an incredibly motivating force.  The alternative is to live with the excruciating pain of regret or even guilt at having made the wrong choice or no choice at all.  If you get the chance, ask a terminal cancer patient if they have regrets over things they have not done in their lives.

Another effect that considering our death has is clarifying our direction and emotions.  Yalom worked for many years with terminal cancer patients, specifically breast cancer patients.  He said that once these women came to terms with their own death, they became very focused on the things they were going to do with the remainder of their lives.  The silly anxiety and worries disappeared, they repaired broken relationships, removed unhelpful and troublesome clutter from their lives (both people and material objects) and headed assertively in the direction of their values and goals.  Yalom states that another value in their choice to live their remaining days in this manner, with integrity of self, was to be an inspiration to their children, friends and loved ones, in not only how to die, but in how to live.

This becomes the motivation and irony of death.  Those who are dying or have died teach us, or remind us, how to live.  How we chose to live our lives is our own responsibility and, make no mistake, how we live our life is a choice.

Perhaps you also have people from your past who you have lost in unfortunate circumstances.  May the memory of their untimely deaths be a motivation to you on how to live the rest of your life.

D

End of the US Civil War

Hi all,

Had a couple of days off so went shopping in Lynchburg yesterday and saw a movie and today, I visited the enormously significant historical site at Appomattox Court House.

When I say we've had a few days off it is a bit of an exaggeration! We practiced from 2.30 on Friday until 6.00, had Saturday off and practiced tonight.  Weights training started at 6pm, regular practice begun at 6.30 and practice ended at 9.15pm .... on a Sunday night!!!  Three of the girls were asked to come at 4pm for extra practice.

For those who don't know, this week marks the 150th anniversary of the start of the American Civil War. Incidentally, the war ended 4 years to the day, from the day it started in April 1865. It began in April 1861 and I want to say the first shots were fired on the 12th and ended on the 12th. The civil war had more fatal casualties than every war the USA has fought since, combined!!!!! I believe that is a phenomenal statistic. 630,000 men died in the civil war, which like many wars, achieved nothing! It is amazingly the same everywhere, things don't really get sorted out until two leaders sit down and talk things out right at the end!

Whilst at Appomattox Court House, I entered the court house it's self to find that it is a museum and tourist information centre. It is in fact the case that the war didn't end in the Court House, but in the parlour of a local businessman's house by the name of Wilmer McLean! There is a famous painting depicting the surrender where Generals Grant and Lee sat at the one small table, each signing their individual documents, however it is in fact the case that they sat at different tables in the room and signed completely different documents. I took photos however the real furniture is in the Smithsonian in Washington.

Grant and Lee had been communicating for many days by letter and the terms of the surrender were worked out in those letters however the final documents were signed in that 90min meeting on that day. Interestingly, they never signed the same document. If I remember correctly, Grant signed a letter of intent and Lee signed the declaration of surrender. During the 90mins they talked about a previous meeting where they met each other during the Mexican wars for about 25 mins, then Lee reminded Grant of their purpose which they sat to discuss. On looking through the documents, Lee eyed an error and was loaned a pencil to correct the error. The pencil sits in the museum in the court house. Once the terms were agreed, Grants secretary, known for his neat hand writing, wrote out the final copy of the two documents for signing. There ending the war. Some southern generals took a little longer to surrender, however that signing marked the end of the war as we know it.

Due to this week marking the anniversary of the beginning and end of the war, I was lucky enough to witness some civil war actors giving demonstrations of what it was like to be a soldier in those days (this re-enactment stuff is actually a very serious hobby). I got to see military manoeuvres and drill, weapon loading and firing, the dress and accoutrements of the soldiers and a bayonet charge towards the crowd. I was determined not to move as I was pretty sure they weren't going to run us through, but then I considered that they really had bayonets on the end of their rifles and I didn't know any of them, so I did begin to feel a little apprehensive. But as there was a wooden fence between us, I felt a little safer. They also, whilst charging, put on a demonstration of the famous 'Rebel Yell', which is not a creation of Billy Idol nor name after a burbon. It is in fact the tribal scream the rebel soldiers would scream whilst charging union soldiers. Apparently we know about it because someone taped a surviving rebel soldier in 1930 and was therefore a record of it forever.

I did buy a book, I believe is very good, about April 1865 which was a tremendous month in US history and included the assignation of Abraham Lincoln and the end of the civil war. The war didn't end because of the assassination however Lincoln was killed due to the down fall of the south. By the way if you want to read a great book about the civil war but based around Gettysburg, it is called the Killer Angels. It is a historical novel. Coincidently, I saw a movie last night called The Conspirator. It is about the trial of Mary Sarrat after the assassination of Lincoln, who was charged with conspiring in his murder and the attempted murder of the Vice President and Secretary if State. People often forget Lincoln was not the only target, the initial plan being to kidnap them in order to ransom the release of southern soldiers. Perhaps seeing the movie wasn't that coincidental.

May i just say one thing about these battle re-enactors. I wonder about why people choose to be re-enactors of the south. I can understand the heritage of it all, about lost relatives and where you are from, however as the war was about slavery, could it be said that these men remain somewhat racist? Hmmm I didn't get a chance to ask and maybe should have sought clarification....however there were no Union soldiers around to defend me.

After the surrender, there was an armistice where the southern army then went about handing in their rifles to the Union soldiers right there in Appomattox. Once handed in, a printing press was started which worked through the night to print thousands of pieces of paper known as parole slips. Southern soldiers were issued with them stating they were paroled as prisoners of war to return to their homes and could live undisturbed there. I have a slip with me which I watched the Ranger print off right before my eyes on the same old press used on that night.

Now there are probably many lessons to be learned from the civil war, however: brothers and friends fought on opposite sides of this war. Officers of both sides went to West Point Military Academy together and learned the same military tactics in the same classrooms. At the end of the war, the USA had a major wound to heal before it could move on and be united.

The point I want to make is this:  It is said that when the southern soldiers handed in their weapons, they did so with humility, whilst the Union soldiers were humble in victory.

I think we can all learn something from this. If you win, surely the satisfaction is self evident and does not need to be rubbed into the faces of the opposition. Celebrate but not at the expense of the loser. Conversely, if you lose, do so with humility because as this example has clearly shown, losing does not constitute the end of the world, but can and should spark the beginning of a learning experience. For the USA, the lesson learned was the end of slavery.

Perhaps you could learn something valuable the next time you come off second best.

D

Enjoy the pictures :-)

This is the McLean House where surrender was signed.

A replica of the table and seat where Grant sat to sign the documents. It is in fact the same room though.

A replica of the table and seat where Lee sat.

Gun smoke from the Confederates shooting off blanks.

Confederates in the middle of a bayonet charge and mouths wide open in a 'Rebel Yell'. 

Some of the beautiful Virginia country side leading out of town and towards Grants HQ.

This is the Appomattox Court House.